Proverbs 21:23
Whoso keeps his mouth and his tongue… keeps his soul from troubles.
Man, is this a hard one! In this proverb, I don’t think that the writer is talking about completely closing our mouths, but wisely opening them. Knowing when to speak, what to speak, and how to speak: that is what he means to keep our mouths and tongues. I will do my best in this article to explain.
A young man grows up with a young girl, and the whole time he is deeply in love with her, but never can find the courage to say so. Suddenly, he gets the news that she is engaged to be married, and finally he builds the courage to tell her how he feels. But with tears in the young girl’s eyes, she replies, “You know…all of our lives I always hoped that you would one day tell me these words, but alas, now that they come, my heart has already been given to another!” In this case, the young man’s emotion of love lacked the courage to speak. Courage is not just a thought. It is also an element that must involve some sort of verbal declaration, and that declaration requires some sort of action.
However, the difficult part of controlling words and relaying them in wisdom is that oftentimes, as in this previous story, there is a full range of emotions attached to them: emotions such as love, good will, and motivation. Then there is the other side of anger, fear, distrust, rebuke, and disappointment. Both sides of this spectrum in many cases are emotions which need to be spoken and shared. My kids have not just heard words of love from me, but also of deep disappointment, anger, and distrust. They need to know when they have hurt me, and they need to feel the liberty to share the same with me. Relaying our emotions is not bad itself, but many times necessary for us to gain a healthy perspective of each other’s feelings and concerns. I have seen couples divorce over words ill-spoken. The whole time I was begging them to get together and share their anger, resolve their issues, and save their marriage. Yet the divorce went through with neither side ever knowing the real truth about why they ended the thing until many years later, when it was too late to do anything about it!! This is a case of speaking when you shouldn’t, and then being silent when words were the only thing that could have saved the union.
Words play such an integral part in the outcomes of life. Not saying something when someone is in danger could create a person’s destruction. However, saying the wrong thing could also do the task, equally as swift. Our mouths are like thoroughbred horses: always wanting to run… and run fast. However, like thoroughbreds, we need a bridle to control our strength and our direction; otherwise we run out of control and into things that hurt us and others equally. A word is like the wind. You cannot see it, but you can certainly feel the affects of its power! Whatever it is that we say, or don’t say, let us thoroughly bridle our mouths, and examine our hearts before doing so, because as this proverb so adequately relates, words unlike swords, penetrate not the skin…but more importantly the soul!
Pastor LaVaughn
